Diary of a (teenage) Diva!

November 1984

The cool November weather doesn't stop Penny's hot passion for boys called Dan but it does render Tracy, the Victorian Evening's soloist, unwell and Penny prepares to step in! Will this be her big break? Read in a sweaty room in South Fremantle during Covid-19 lock-down with her own teenage girls who would literally not want to be ANYWHERE else (hum hum!). 

December 1984

December brings a new selection of activities; ranging from carol singing, delivering Christmas Cards around the village and making nativity scenes to laughing at boys, painting her nails black and hanging with the cool kids. The year ends with a school ski trip and the intoxicating combination of vodka, vermouth and vomit, completing Penny's transition from adorable child to revolting teenager. Still mid-pandemic, Penny’s final guest for 1984 is her son Finn, whose opinion of both his Mother and his Grandmother have now been shattered. 

January 1985

The excesses of New Year’s Eve have left Penny with swollen tonsils, a swollen ankle and a life-long horror of Vermouth. Spiky hair, Bagpuss and Ouija Boards are in; microwave cakes and boys called Ian are out. Penny and this month's guest, baritone Robert Hofmann, discuss their various encounters with European prostitutes. Brand new theme music written by Finn Pearson. 

February 1985

February is all about sharing...sharing private letters, other people’s boyfriends, body parts and we shudder to think how many viruses. Penny, often too unwell to go to school nevertheless indulges in various activities, sledging, trampolining, ice-skating and an unfortunate night at the bowling alley. Singing lessons are going well and Penny lands a role in the Abingdon School musical, but which part? Recorded with fellow diva Fiona Campbell on Rottnest Island after a bit too much rosé.

March 1985

March is packed with competitions; music, lacrosse, even walking is about winning. The St Helen's netball team have reached the National Finals but Penny’s ankle is still dodgy after falling down the stairs drunk on New Year's Eve. Will this stand in their way of national domination? Rehearsals have begun for ‘Trial by Jury’; Penny is appalled to find that her costume shows too much decolletage and decides that she pop wants to be a pop singer NOT an opera singer! Recorded in the dressing room at His Majesty’s theatre, Perth, with fellow Cosi Fan Tutte cast members, soprano Prudence Sanders and mezzo-soprano Ashlyn Tymms.

April 1985

April's guest of the Pod, Jason helps Penny unpack the relative merits of a pair of tight pants and a billowing white shirt; the Mr. Darcy myth, Penny auditions for yet another musical and we find out why Rangers was SO much better than Girl Guides; it wasn’t the uniform. And in one month Penny, ever the chameleon, channels most of the Spice Girls; lurching from pastel jumpsuits (Baby), to full Goth attire (Scary), intensive Lacrosse training (Sporty), Badminton Horse Trials (posh). Jason remains ginger.

May 1985

Summer term at St Helen’s and St Katherine’s, a month so good we recorded it twice! Fellow Hel Kat and boarder Elizabeth “Poggy” Allison compares her memories of school life with Penny’s - less drinking martini, punting and ice-skating; a lot more eating toast, going to chapel and being chaperoned.

We find out what Radiohead’s Thom Yorke got up to before he was famous and Penny does some accidental oversharing with the Abingdon School boys.

Music as always by the fabulous Finn Pearson, produced and edited by me, Penny. 

BONUS EPISODE 1918-19

In this unsolicited bonus episode Penny unpacks her Great-Grandmother’s diary with her daughter, Jasmine. During the last great pandemic Louie Pearson took an intrepid voyage from Cape Town, via Sydney to San Francisco on a square rigged sailing ship, accompanied by her husband Eric, the ship’s captain and also by her daughter, 4 year old LuLu. 100 years, 5 generations, 2 pandemics all in 35 minutes! Original music by Finn Pearson, additional sound effects by Otto, the mostly Labrador. 

June 1985

June heralds a flurry of summer shopping, swimming and synchronised snogging. Penny, despite still claiming she wants to be a pop star, unleashes her inner Diva and prepares to audition for her first ever opera! Read in Moore River with Olivia (who would NOT have been friends with teenage Penny) and Dani, who might have been. 

Music by Finn Pearson, produced by me!

July 1985

July 1985 is awash with historic moments; Live Aid takes the world by storm, Boris Becker wins Wimbledon, Madonna poses for playboy and Penny auditions for her first ever opera!

Once school finishes Penny and her family head to France on a hovercraft and the temperature begins to rise...

Armed with “Skinny Bitch” cocktails Penny and Michael Gentle, self-confessed fan and current Teenage Diva, stagger their way through July. Recorded at home on a busy veranda, cameo appearances from all household members.