Diary of a (teenage) Diva!

January 1984

Opera Diva and comedian Penny Shaw reads her teenage diaries to a variety of horrified guests. Beginning in January 1984 when Penny is 13 and decided, completely, to become a singer.

February 1984

Valentine's Day rears its ugly head, the family head off ski-ing and Penny and her friends write to Jimmy Saville so see what he can fix for them. In conversation with broadcasting legend Christian Horgan. 

March 1984

Read under the critical glare of an actual modern day teenager (Sophie 17) and her mother (Katherine, would rather not say!) the excitement of life in 1984 reaches a peak when Penny skips school, stays home and watches television.

April 1984

Easter 1984, spring has sprung, the sap is rising and Penny is awash with hormones. No amount of wholesome activities; roller-skating, hiking and bell-ringing can distract her from pursuing every teenage boy that has a pulse. Even at Granny's she's still out 'jogging for boys'. Read with Lucy Burghard on a warm Spring evening, back at the scene of most of the crimes, the garden of her childhood home. The birds are tweeting, the dogs are barking and Marian (Mother!) is pottering, pretending she's not eavesdropping....

May 1984

Summer term! Tennis, swimming, watching cricket, riding ponies, drinking beers in the pub, all excellent activities enjoyed by 13 year old Penny. The list of lush boys grows ever longer and some even come to Penny's house(!) but unfortunately the only one that seems interested makes her want to puke...

Read with Mandy Orr and Chris Hedges after far too many gin and tonics on Rottnest Island, Western Australia; listen out for the sounds of crashing waves, giant mosquitoes and the clinking of ice. 

June 1984

Things are heating up at the cricket as the "Simon Saga" continues. Frankie says relax but Penny is anything but relaxed when she hears from Tracey (who heard it from Rat who heard it from Woody) that Simon might prefer her to Amanda! Betrayal, deceit, intrigue, Cointreau fuelled midnight feasts, Latin exams, lost knickers, odes to Edward Elgar...June has it all.

Read with operatic tenor and composer Perry Joyce on a boiling hot night in Broome with quite a noisy fridge in the background.  

July 1984

Summer term at St. Helen's but still no snogging! Penny comes close 'getting off' with someone but fails to seal the deal; blaming the tyranny of too many parents and not enough beer. As a consequence she starts the politically incorrect NSH Club with her friends at Girl Guide Camp. It's worse than you think... Excursions, fetes, parties, plays, concerts are all over and an endless round of holidays, sunburn and strawberries has begun. Read at home in Fremantle with fellow Mother of 4, TV producer and ex-private school wallflower Kate Vyvyan. 

August 1984

Fellow diary writer and 'podcat' Cathy Cooksey puts an Aussie slant on August 1984, when the LA Olympics were in full swing and being 'on the spectrum' had an entirely different meaning. As another month of endless holidays and irritating activities commences, surfing, folk dancing, donkey racing to name but a few, Cathy (and quite possibly many other listeners!) longs for a day when Penny slumps miserably in front of the telly filled with teenage angst. Will her dream come true? If it does Cathy will be mintoxicated!

September 1984

Penny, her brother Chris, and a couple of friends head off parent free on a PGL multi-activity holiday in Wales. Some of the more exciting activities, however, are not advertised in the brochure! Back home Penny receives an unexpected early birthday present in the mail and there is conclusive evidence that the 80s was not a good time to be a goldfish... Read whilst cruising on the Coral Sea with fellow DivaLicious Diva and boarding school escapee Fiona Cooper Smyth.

October 1984

Studded belts, fingerless gloves, batwing sleeved jumpers are all the rage as Penny turns 14 and is finally winning at boys as well as netball. PGL Danny is out, disco Dan is in and a new life of sex, drugs and rock and roll (well...snogging, beer and Andrew Lloyd-Webber!) unfolds. Production values reach a new low as Penny and guest Tommaso Pollio try to record the podcast at a 'social distance' on a beach in Geraldton; wind, waves, flies and killer seagulls all get in on the act. Made on Friday 13th 2020, the day everything got cancelled.